Thoughts don't always come with a "Title"

It's been a long time that i have come to this part of the web, many instances provoked me to channel my thoughts into words and put them here but laziness won the race and that didn't happen.

Thoughts don't always come with a title and summing up many into a post is a difficult task, what ever happened in the past one year was an eye opener .. there was good and there was bad but as they say bad travels faster  than the good .

i still remember the day where i was told by my manager for being late two times in the same week and getting a 5/5 for punctuality from the same person at the end of the year review, work placement changed me completely as a person in many aspects most importantly i learned to say "YES" for the right things and "NO" for the unnecessary ones.

Met some amazing people who make me think have you achieved anything? 
when are you going to do it ? 

in the past i always felt of achieving something at the same time felt people have looked upon me ? i thought i was thinking a bit too much but when many broke my confidence i had to build it up it took time but i guess the one thing which helped me back was some amazing music and a few songs to which i can relate my life to. and some which got me up from where i fell 

" Don't you say I am a failure 

  You don't know who I can be "

Made a few good friends and realised many weren't.

it took me very long time to understand a simple fact that 

"People come, people go 

you got to keep moving on and 

wish for their success"

I've always wanted a good group/set of friends that i can hang out/ share with 

that didn't happen no matter what i do .. at the end something goes wrong and i have to start all over again, it happened so many times that i have just lost the hope.. not that I am having some problems or something is terribly wrong with me. 

the worst part is when people you know especially the close ones start changing and act as strangers? I'm sorry but were you the one who came to me when you needed the support where are you now.. My photo wall reduced by two rows shows how many undeserving people i have been friends with

well its their loss and not mine .

There were self created mess as well in this 'past so called eye opener year' , cant blame anyone but me. to sum up the situation in a couple of sentences. when you go out of the way to help someone you burn yourself in and that's exactly what I did , in friendship especially with a guy 

two things can cause problems 1) Money 2) Woman 

in my case it was both mixed with jealousy, at the end of all this it irks you from inside that 

there was no necessity for all this , it could have been avoided with a firm 'NO'.

by the time i learned how to say it it was too late .

its always hazy and unclear what a person expects from one another 

all I seek is a pinch of trust and a bit of trueness.. i don't think that's too much to ask for ? 

P.s - there are so many grammatical errors i know it , this was written in anger and out of frustration don't even bother correcting them 

E V O L ? L O V E

As the title suggests its true that the word 'LOVE' is confusing and is a sweet poison (at least after experiencing it). initially it is such a good feeling, a feeling which just cant be expressed with words ..where you start liking all the romantic songs, films, quotes and end up in a conclusion - 'Life is beautiful'.
i think you just go mad when your in that ecstasy where you don't know what's happening around you and all you care about is that one person.


Some say its a blessing to experience one's love, if it is then i had that blessing too the one with a very short life span yet made a heavy impact on my life so far, which made me not like a girl very easily . when i put a step forward the other feet doesn't do the same due to the fear of getting hurt again .


I loved her truly probably love is a big word i liked her more than anybody else, thinking about her was more than the thinking about myself, it started of as being a friend but i felt some attraction a different feel when i saw her a feeling that you want to be with her, it not always about the way someone looks its just when you feel she is different which makes her stand out from the others. i. maybe i am weird i asked her on every call 'do you love me? ' its not about whether she really does, and its not about trust either but listening to her say 'yes i love you ' gave me that immense satisfaction which made me felt lighter and worry free.


Not dwelling into too much detail but things didn't work out nothing to do with me or her at that point we have gone through our rough phase, argued, fought, consoled and back together again but i guess it was something more than that , i felt it was silly but it was fate too. i could not imagine that a phone bill could ruin a relationship? i guess it was at that time.. a month later when there was no communication between us i called her back through her friend i hear 'i don't have any feelings for you any more' that did break me apart , i felt i was lost as i never in my wildest dreams would expect to hear that when things were all fine ' between us'.  i gave it time i thought this was not it but i guess there are two things which you don't want to hear after all this has happened 1) she is with somebody else 2) she was faking it .


I don't want to answer what is the right answer as any of them can hurt equally. probably those were the best 6 months in my life i smiled from my heart, i learned to care , i learned how to treat a girl, i learned to make someone get out of their grief by just talking to them. all this would not have been possible if she wasn't there in my life, don't regret it ..it was an experience which i wish stayed on through my life.


Its been four years i still try to call her only to listen to her voice mail message, as they say you don't get everything in your life .